Saturday, October 13, 2007

To my Love...

I am in a secret relationship. Yes, most of you may have known this or had some sort of premonition about it, actually alot of you probably did. It has been going on for over a year, and it started innocently enough. I first fell in love with her, well, pretty much randomly. Since that day I have had eyes for no other, my love is pure for her. I am led to believe that she feels the same about me as well because she is with me whenever I am home.
Now I suppose that you are getting curious as to the name of my mystery love. Well, I suppose I should tell you her name just to satisfy your curiousity. Her name is Olga.
Olga was born during the Great War, somewhere around 1917. She originally came from Great Britain before emigrating to Canada sometime. Yes, she may be old and past her prime, but she still has life in her left. Now before you think I'm some sort of freaky pedophile, Olga is a gun. Yup, Olga is my Lee Enfield.
I bought Olga last winter from a friend of my dads last year. Now this wasn't against Olga's consent and it definately wasn't anything like a mail order bride. No, this was more like a Native American ritual where the husband would give his wife's parents some gifts for letting him marry their daughter. That is more or less what I did.
We went on our first outing in mid-November during hunting season. Even though we didn't get anything it was an exciting experience for both of us, just us outside in the wild. Since then we have been through alot together, everything from bear hunting to gopher hunting. This is definately love. But now Olga wants her brother, Fritz (who is a Lee Enfield Jungle Carbine) to come live with us. Women.......

6 comments:

Phil L said...

Yes I think that's freaky.

But no I don't think that being in love with a 90-year-old named Olga makes you a pedophile.

Shirley said...

DON'T LET FRITZ MOVE IN!!!! Don't you know that two's company, three's a crowd?

Anonymous said...

Glad you finally wrote again; I missed it! And I suppose I will be able to keep my eyes on 'Fritz' too! mom

Kelcie said...

Jeremy! this story is so funny! I miss you like crazy! I miss your crazy stories! I Hope everythings going good for you!

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm dissapointed that you fell in love with a member of the Enfield family, Sorry to hear, that it was not one that descended from the M. family, namely the M21, and yes, I realise that its not as fiting of a name, but whatever...........

Anonymous said...

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