Saturday, June 9, 2007


Alright, bawl me out again, I'm used to it. Yes I know it's been a long time since I last wrote in my blog, and I know that you have been waiting anxiously to read a new entry. And since one major event in my life happened......8 days ago, I might as well tell you about it.
OK, so graduation is suppose to be a fairly serious event, I mean, you only graduate once in your life, right? However, I hate formal events. I mean, I feel so stuffed and fake, I just hate it. So as you probably read in my last blog entry, I decided to wear a duct tape tux, thanks to the creativity of my sister Rachel. Red and blue with Habs logo's gracing the suit, it made a huge impact in the ceremonies, or so I am told.
The first part of grad is when we are in our toga's or gowns or whatever you want to call them Now I was originally going to go up their with no pants to keep myself cool, but I would have my undergarments on for sure. Anywho, I was talked into putting on jeans for this parts of the ceremonies, and it was fair enough. The fan behind me was going at a good clip, but the gowns were thick and I couldn't feel the breeze anyway. Anyway, the tassel on my hat kept going venturing into my mouth, and I'd gag and spit out the strings constantly. I was called up eventually to get my diploma, and then they also decided to throw in the "Best All Around Award", which surprised me incredibly. I mean, I got a weird look on my face, or so I am told. After the boring part of the ceremonies were nearly over, I began to wonder how in the world I was going to get up the stairs in my pants, and get the pants on period. Just before we got off stage we were suppose to throw our hats in the air, as is custom around here (and most other places). Ya, well, to be different I threw mine straight ahead, as my family sat 4 rows in front of me. The hat didn't make it and hit someone in the face. I quickly ducked my head and got off the stage as fast as possible (but with my luck, I was the last one off).
We quickly ran off to the school library to change and get our escorts ready for the Grand March. I ran off to the staff bathroom and somehow got on my very, very tight pants and vest. I ran (OK, I walked as fast as I could as it's impossible to run in those pants) back to the library, and got help getting on my jacket. I quickly got beside my escort, who was my cousin Charlotte, and stood uncomfortably in the lineup. As we proceeded forward, I felt the butterflies in my stomach begin to punch and scream to let them out. No way was I puking during the ceremonies I said, and I then punched my gut to let those creatures know who was in charge.
We came out of the arch around the middle of the pack, and started walking towards the middle of the gym. I heard alot of excited whispers like "What is that guy wearing?" and "I'd hate to be his escort". However, I kept a straight, grim look on my face and sorta glared at the people you were pointing and talking about me and my cousin. We were stopped numerous times for pictures, much to our dismay, because I was sweating to death underneath the suit. We circled the gym twice, and on the second go round I was stopped again, but not for a picture. Some Senators fan had the gall to begin beaking me! Just because I love the Habs and have a duct tape suit doesn't mean I'm a weird person, does it? He began yelling about how the Sens, who were down 2-0 in the series at that point, were so much better than any other team and how they were going to win the cup. Well, I hate cocky, over-the-top fans. I mean, this guy must be hardcore hockey, and that's just not cool. I would have decked him save the fact I couldn't even hug anybody when I had the jacket on and he was about a foot taller and 50 pounds heavier. But whats size when you have guts? My escort pulled me away and we got back on track, walking to the left side of the gym, getting myself ready to go back on stage.
Now another dilemma arose. I couldn't walk up stairs. Yes, this is a problem because even if I did manage to get up stage, it would look very awkward and just plain old wrong. I began to sweat and I couldn't tell if it was the spotlight I was standing in front of or the fact that I was about to make a complete fool of myself. I then decided, with some encouragement from my friends Kelcie and Tamara, to rip open my vest and walk up the stairs backwards. I don't know the reason why, but I could walk up stairs backwards in these pants. All of a sudden the time came, and I stepped forward......
First of all I had to drop off my escort at her seat. I couldn't hug people, as I may or may not have entered earlier, so when she sat down I "pounded" her fist. For those less hip that is when two people punch fists, a sign of thanks. Anyways, I went up to the stairs, whirled around and ripped open my vest. I began dancing up the stairs backwards, my hands in the shape of guns as I pretended to shoot at the crowd. I nearly tripped as I missed the second last step, but I got on stage safely.
I then got help in ripping off my jacket (too hot), and then I sat down in my seat by the fan. I felt bad for the people in front of me for two reasons. One, I was hogging the fan, and two, the sweaty smell that came form my being was being pushed at them by the fan.
After the Grand March it was rather boring, me just sitting in my seat listening to people talk. After the ceremonies I talked to some people, with all of them asking about my suit. Seemed to me that they could care less about me, they just wanted to talk about how I got the suit mad, if there was material underneath, if it was hot (like that wasn't evident!). I then went outside and stripped off my pants in the street (this is true, just like the rest of my story), then drove home. Once I got home, I had my third shower of the day, and then made a fire and partied with my friends and family all night long. I was so hopped up on Pepsi I couldn't think straight, and I suppose it didn't help that I drank some 5 hour energy stuff I had found at a drugstore ( I wonder why there was a warning on it for people under the age of 18?). Anyway, I stayed up till about 5:00 AM with my cousin Joe before I crashed. And thus concludes today story, tune in next time when I try to remember another painful childhood memory.


Carmen Larson said...

Does someone have a video of the backwards up the stairs dance...I sure would like to see that.

Tamara Hanson said...

haha Jeremy! When you walked up the stairs after the grand march you looked totally awesome! It was very cool. You also looked very rad in your rad suit.

PS I was right in front of you and I wasnt annoyed by the fan...I loved it because I could feel the air too! You didnt smell either. haha